Welcome to MAKNA {A Meaning to Life}

“Sincerely I can say that cancer has taught me a new meaning to life”

Aizan

I was born as a normal child without any handicap. Being the only girl with three elder and one younger brother, I was lavished with love and pampered by the family. I grew up in a happy environment full of laughter and happiness. However, sometimes life does not turn out the way we want. Halfway through my teenage years, I suffered pains above my right knee which caused my right leg to easily tire and stiffen. Being worried about the pain, my parents took me to the hospital. An x-ray showed that there were signs of premature fracture. I was immediately admitted to the hospital for further examination. This marked the beginning of a new episode in my life - the hospital became a second home for me. During the second week of the school session I had to drop out of school.

My new life at the hospital demanded a lot of patience on my part as I had to undergo various tests like x-ray, CT Bone Scan, MRI and biopsy. Finally after a long wait my family and I received news that shook us all. I was confirmed to be suffering from osteosarcoma, a kind of cancer of the bone. My family especially my mother was the most distraught and frustrated, meanwhile I, who was only 14 then, was still too young to understand the reality of the disease.Time passed very quickly and soon it was two years since my diagnosis. I had undergone both modern and traditional treatment but none could cure my right leg. I can remember so well, 17 Mac 1999, at the age of 16 years, I had to part with my right leg forever as it had to be amputated. Now I will have to live with the fact that my right leg is gone forever, and what is left are happy memories of it.

Besides having cancer, another fact I had to live with is that I am now categorised as a handicapped person. It is a whole new world for me and my family. Nevertheless, I am grateful that I am blessed with a mother who loves me very much. Never a moment under any circumstance she left my side. I can still remember when I was hospitalised for one and a half months after my amputation, she refused to go home at all, she was always with me. I know I will never be able to repay the kindness and the sacrifices of my mother."Thank you God for giving me a wonderful and dear mother. Thank you so much mum for always being there for me." With the support of my mother and family, I managed to undergo the chemotherapy sessions. Although I was at first frustrated but their words of encouragement enabled me to pull through the 6 cycles. The six-month session was the most trying and painful period of my life. Like other cancer patients I had to endure the after effects of chemotherapy like constant vomiting, lethargy, hair loss, change in skin colour and loss of appetite. I was grateful to God for giving me the strength to withstand this challenge.

After recovering from the operation and the chemotherapy sessions, I was thinking of starting school again. Frankly I had almost forgotten about my studies but thanks to the kind concern of a doctor, I was encouraged to work towards my ambition even with one leg. I attended school after a two-year break, missing out on my PMR exams. The form five session which had started for two months did not deter my spirit. In fact I took it as a challenge and came out among the top students in the SPM exams. It did not stop there, for I enrolled myself at Universiti Islam Antarabangsa Malaysia (UIAM) majoring in Psychology. My hard work and patience paid off when I managed to maintain my position in the Dean's List throughout my studies at UIAM. I also graduated with a first class degree, something that I believe any determined person can achieve. Now I am waiting to start my Masters Degree in Counseling this July at UIAM.

Throughout my life as a handicapped person, I experienced a lot of pain and frustrations. Every time I walked out with my crutches or on a wheelchair I am looked down upon. What hurts even more is when people would talk unkindly among themselves. I can still remember how some were cynical and made fun when I signed up for my driving lessons. But I passed and now I drive myself and my mother wherever we need to go. Yes, all the criticisms and insinuations did not dampen my determination to create a better future for myself and my family. I took them all with a pinch of salt. With high spirits and strong determination, I struggled through life to chart a successful future for myself.

Having cancer has made me more aware of the urgent need to help other cancer patients like myself to face life. It is also because of this deep interest to help others like myself that I was particularly drawn to MAKNA and its cause. Finally, my wish to work for MAKNA was realised when I officially became a MAKNA volunteer in 2006. Now I assist them with some administrative work and counseling cancer patients and their families whenever the need arises.

What has happened to me is actually a real blessing in disguise. I am very grateful and feel blessed all because I had cancer. If not for cancer, I would not be so determined to excel in my studies. Also if not for cancer, I would not be aware that I have such a strong willed and courageous mother. And also if not for cancer I would not learn to appreciate life to its fullest. Sincerely I can say that cancer has taught me a new meaning to life. "Thank You God."

Note: Aizan was one of 20 recipients of the Honda Dreams Fund to further her Masters degree at UKM in July 2007.

Aizan
Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia(UKM)